Someday, Somewhere

Someday, somewhere –

 

anywhere, unfailingly, you’ll

 

find yourself, and that, and

 

only that, can be the happiest

 

or bitterest hour of your life?

 

~ Pablo Neruda

 


 

Pilgrimage Inside Inquiry

Find a few minutes of quiet. Read the passage above and reflect on the questions below. Spend a few minutes journaling about the answers and noting any new questions that emerge.

 

  • How will you know when you have found yourself?

 

  • What do you yearn to know about yourself?

 

  • What do you fear you might find?

 

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Shape, create, manifest

“I notice that I often need to remind myself that my perceived lack of support, feedback or enthusiasm for one of my ideas is not because what I am working toward isn’t relevant but because it lives inside of me where not everyone can see it in its fullness. My work is to shape, create and manifest so that someday it will live outside of me too.”

 

~ stacy

 


 

Pilgrimage Inside Inquiry

Find a few minutes of quiet. Read the passage above and reflect on the questions below. Spend a few minutes journaling about the answers and noting any new questions that emerge.

 

  • What lives inside of you and wants to be seen?

 

  • In what ways do you retreat or hide when you do not feel seen?

 

  • What supports you in staying on your path and working toward what is most meaningful to you?
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Passion and Purpose

“Passion is one great force that unleashes creativity, because if you’re passionate about something, then you’re more willing to take risks.”

 

Yo-Yo Ma

 

Creating from the inside out is one of the most satisfying and fulfilling experiences we can give ourselves. Dropping into our essence and letting go of the outside world helps us to better align with the rhythm of our being. Passion is our guide for the journey into this realm of our creativity. It shows up as an urge, or a pulse that we feel and have no choice but to follow. When we listen we align to a much larger purpose for our existence. If we resist we risk never knowing ourselves fully and intimately. We cheat the world of what it is we are here to offer.

~ stacy

 


Pilgrimage Inside Inquiry

Find a few minutes of quiet. Read the passage above and reflect on the questions below. Spend a few minutes journaling about the answers and noting any new questions that emerge.

 

  • When in life have you felt the force of passion?

 

  • Who are you being when you are most connected and alive?

 

  • What environments help you to tap into your passion?

 

  • What are you willing to risk to experience your full creative potential?

 

~ stacy

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The Invitation

If you strip away every fear, every worry, and every concern that has ever skipped across your mind – who would you be? What could you become? When I quiet my mind and dive deeply into the softness of my breath I experience that space. I experience that person. Every day I commit to inhabiting that space for longer periods of time. I commit to fully knowing and trusting that person. I commit to Live Wide Awake. ~stacy

 

 

The Invitation

By Oriah

 

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your

soul’s longing.

 

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your

dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

 

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon,

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, If you

have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed

from fear of further pain.

 

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to

hide it or fade it or fix it.

 

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance

with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and

toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the

limitations of being human.

 

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you

can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

 

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day,

and if you source your life from God’s presence.

 

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand

on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,

“Yes!”

 

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary

and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

 

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not

shrink back.

 

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the

company you keep in the empty moments.

 


 

Pilgrimage Inside Inquiry

Find a few minutes of quiet. Read the passage above and reflect on the questions below. Spend a few minutes journaling about the answers and noting any new questions that emerge.

 

  • What is it that your soul aches for in this lifetime?

 

  • How do you stay true to yourself?

 

  • What supports you in feeling the fullness of your flame?

 

  • How do you find the beauty in your pain and disappointment?

~ stacy

 

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The Pain of Awakening

I remember striving for happiness and believing it was a place I would someday arrive. I remember the despair of always feeling that happiness was outside of me somewhere in the distance – maybe even unattainable. I remember collapsing into a puddle of fatigue and unexplainable symptoms.

 

And then I remember the embrace. The moment of radical acceptance when I stepped forward into my pain and suffering. The moment that I let go and I opened myself to feeling the full weight and depth of my disappointments. That is when the light was allowed to enter. That is when I began to understand the true path to awakening.

 

The essay below captures this sentiment so beautifully ~ stacy

 

 

Imagining Figures of Light

 

by Matt Licata

 

Much is being said these days about healing and spiritual awakening, and the causeless joy, clarity, and peace that are the inevitable fruits of the inner journey. Not all that much is mentioned, however, about the disappointment of awakening – or of the ways it can break our hearts – cracking us open to the reality of the crucifixion, the resurrection, *and the transfiguration we are likely to encounter along the way.

 

In the rush to convert the negative to the positive, to manifest everything we ‘want,’ and to wiggle into some permanent state of ‘happy,’ we forget that there is no transfiguration without a radical embodiment to the cross of the wild darkness within.

 

In the full embrace of life – right inside the messy, shadowy, nether regions of the psyche – we are invited to meet the wholeness of what we are, which includes the dark *and the light, the movement of separation *and union, and the entirety of what it means to be an embodied human being.

 

There is something longing to emerge, out of the mess, surging up from the dark, rich soil of the body. But will you provide a home for it, to unfold and illuminate the path ahead, and resist the temptation to see it as an obstacle that is standing in your way? The only way out is through – and there is a part of you that will never forget this holy transmission which emerges out of the cells of your very own heart.

 

As Jung so poignantly reminds us, we do not become enlightened by “imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” He went on to say that the integral, non-negotiable journey of the dark *and the light is one that is often “disagreeable” and thus would never be popular.

 

It is important – and an expression of tremendous kindness to ourselves and others – to remember that we may never want to turn back into that which we have avoided for so long. And it may never feel comfortable or safe. But yet so many are somehow being pulled back home, into and by their true nature, into the vastness where the mind cannot travel – to no longer abandon ourselves and to pathologize the wisdom flow of feeling, emotion, and sensation as it appears as our sensitivities, our core vulnerabilities, and the eruption of present, somatic experience as it comes to offer its intelligence and its creative invitation.

 

The ancient path of the heart may never conform to our hopes, fears, and dreams, for it is emerging in the here and now as an emissary of the unknown itself. Let us rest in the aching truth that one of the primary roles of the beloved is to seed deflation in the field of separation. Yes, awakening may always be a disappointment, from the perspective of egoic organization. In this sense, the journey is eternally hopeless, but it is in the creation of a home for our hopelessness—and allowing it to be illuminated within us—that we are finally able to step into a world beyond our wildest imagination.

 

Through our commitment to staying with the burning and the fires of the energetic world, we will come to the embodied realization that this disappointment is sacred, that this deflation is a benediction, and is whole.

 

As we journey together as fellow travelers, let us find a way to embrace both the joy *and the heartbreak of spiritual awakening, and bear witness to the wisdom shining out of our immediate experience, whether it appears as sadness, bliss, despair, or great joy. It is true that grace will appear in both sweet *and fierce forms, but regardless of its particular manifestation, it is still grace, sent from beyond to open us to the radiant fullness of being.

 

Do whatever you can to help others along the way – for you can do so much. Never underestimate the transformative power of your words, the way you touch others and hold them, and the most precious gift you have to offer to them and to a weary world – the fire of your very own presence.

 

Matt Licata, PhD

 


 

Pilgrimage Inside Inquiry

Find a few minutes of quiet. Read the passage above and reflect on the questions below. Spend a few minutes journaling about the answers and noting any new questions that emerge.

 

  • How do you practice self-kindness in the face of despair?

 

  • How do your struggles help to light your path?

 

  • How can the perceived obstacles in your life become your best teachers?

 

  • In what ways do you support and care for others in their pain?

 

~ stacy

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Stealing a Bell

“There is a story about a man who was stealing a bell, and he covered his own ears so that no one would hear it ringing. We plan ways to hide our own pain, thinking that nobody will know. Realizing the fundamental suffering, the private parts that we stupidly try to hide—being so intelligent and so stupid at the same time—is the first step of the journey. Discovering that this hidden factor is exposed already is the highest thing of all. It is the real truth, and if we acknowledge it, it is a beautiful truth, a fantastic truth.”

 

~ Chogyam Trungpa

 


 

Pilgrimage Inside Inquiry

Find a few minutes of quiet. Read the passage above and reflect on the questions below. Spend a few minutes journaling about the answers and noting any new questions that emerge.

 

  • In what ways do you attempt to hide your pain?

 

  • How can you become more aware of this urge to hide yourself?

 

  • What about yourself are you being called to embrace?

 

  • What is your real truth?

 

~ stacy

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The Deepest Longing

by Rosie Finn

 

I think about the longing of a soul for a body
How deep and uncontrollable must that young urge be
It must be greater than all the urges of flesh
Greater than the longing to be held, to make love or to be free

 

Somewhere, somehow our souls know the suffering
that lies within the human experience
Torture, great loss, loneliness, and cancer
And somehow each and every one of our souls chooses to be here
anyway,
Longed to be here despite the great chance of unbearable pain

 

That longing must be a thing beyond imagination
Must carry us through the most narrow and excruciating portal
How precious it must be to be here
How extraordinary to simply live

 

Learn more about Rosie Finn


 

Pilgrimage Inside Inquiry

Find a few minutes of quiet. Read the passage above and reflect on the questions below. Spend a few minutes journaling about the answers and noting any new questions that emerge.

 

  • What are you longing for most right now?

 

  • What suffering have you endured to get to this moment?

 

  • How do you choose to handle your pain?

 

  • What feels precious and extraordinary about being alive?

 

~ stacy

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Pilgrimage Inside

Sometimes the stars align and the brightness of their convergence points you in a new direction. ~SH

 

On and off for years I thought about writing a book documenting my experience of living with and overcoming chronic fatigue. I have my notes and I have written segments but it has never really come together. I think in part because I made it an ‘all or nothing’ proposition. In my mind if I actually started writing then the stakes were high and I had to finish with a completed book…and even more daunting a published book.

 

At some point I realized that this way of thinking was getting in the way of me writing anything at all. And for me not writing meant not expressing myself fully which felt like letting a small piece of myself wither away.

 

Last year (2015) I decided I would take four months to explore the idea of writing about my experience without the expectation of needing to produce anything other than words on the screen. There would be no pressure to publish and I could write whatever I wanted without filtering and thinking about how it would read publicly. The experience would give me an opportunity to “feel into” the idea of making a very personal story public. I am huge believer in designing tiny experiments in our lives to see what we can learn instead of trying to figure it out all at once. The former leads to greater creativity and the latter is just too overwhelming to actually achieve anything.

 

In the first few days I wrote over 20,000 words. There was definitely a story that wanted to come out. Then the words stopped flowing. I started to filter myself and my writing became less authentic. The deeper I dug into my experience the more I wanted to put the pages away never to be shared with anyone.

 

During a session with my coach/counselor I began to see that there were still some unintegrated pieces of my experience that left me wanting to disown small, but significant parts of my story. Recognizing that disowning those parts was the equivalent of rejecting parts of my being I opted to continue writing to see what I could learn.

 

She offered me a simple energetic practice to actively retrieve pieces of my story as I tried to push them away. A simple hand gesture signaling that I wanted to embrace and integrate these parts of my life. Once I had a tangible way to work with the feelings I was able to re-establish the flow from which my words poured forth. I also lowered my resistance to the process and let go of some judgment. The process moved much more slowly than those first couple of days but there was movement and it felt like there was healing too.

 

Around this same time I watched a segment online about spiritual pilgrimages. It was beautiful to see the commitment and devotion people have for their religious practices. Personally, I never had this through organized religion even though I have participated in Christian, Jewish and Buddhist services and ceremonies. For me, in my life,  the pilgrimage has always been about the one I take inside of myself. For many people organized religion provides the structure and the invitation to look inward. My structure has always been self-generated and influenced by an internal guidance.

 

After watching the segment I jumped online to read more about pilgrimages. For those unfamiliar a pilgrimage is defined as “a long journey to a sacred place as an act of devotion.” The past twenty years of my life had felt like a pilgrimage. Stepping into adulthood with great intention, not knowing what the journey would present to me, stumbling, many times, and even hitting bottom a few of those times. These years had been sacred. In the darkest days I wanted to be any place but where I was but it was my devotion that kept me moving toward my truth. It was the voice I heard inside telling me to stay on the path. Turning inward is how I healed myself of chronic fatigue. It was the Pilgrimage Inside that gave me back my life and awakened me to a more vibrant, authentic way of living. It is that experience I wish to share on this site and through the work I do in the world. Perhaps there will also be a book someday.

 

What if life is meant to be a pilgrimage but the only sacred place you ever need to visit is the sacred landscape inside of yourself? And what if devotion is the act of cultivating love, kindness and compassion for your human experience?

 
 

How might intimately knowing yourself transform your life? How could this simple act of curiosity and devotion transform the world?

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